Rootlessness

Well, I don't know where to start. I am sitting here and all around me my house of about nineteen years (I’ve lived here all my life!) is in a mess. I am moving houses. I am feeling scattered, slightly scared. I have just been living in a daze, sleeping too little and not thinking.

I begin to think this is fun but I want to shake myself up and figure out. I wish it was like school where after 7th std, you just go to 8th. I actually don't wish that.

I feel sad that whenever I settle down I suddenly pack up, tear all ties and leave. Again, I get bored of things easily, even places so I guess it's OK. But the people I have come to know and shared almost every single day of my life with will soon be untangled. Friends from nearby came and bid their goodbyes. Tears were shed. But memories were recollected. We sat together reminiscing about those days when we were kids playing silly little games, played hide and seek around the house, sighing when we looked at those corners and cupboards where we have locked ourselves up by mistake.

Sigh.

“Those were the days”.

Sigh again!

I know everybody here, every little space, every face, every shop, every house. If anybody asked me where Mr. Ranagnathan lived, house no. 42- I’d know. We played on these roads. Climbed trees, walls, parapets... we climbed into each others lives. But now I was moving... from north Bangalore to south Bangalore. I’m happy that it’s not another city or country altogether. But its 20 kms away- meaning new neighborhood, new friends... A whole new life.


This house where I know all the auto drivers and they know I have Psychology at 8:30 am and I have to be there or the stupid nun would shut the door. Hurry up I’d bawl. I need the 9AM attendance. I can take back change for five hundred bucks later from them. Where I can run to the city supermarket down the road and pick up maggi noodles when I’m hungry. Where I can find my way back perfectly even if a tad too tipsy at 11:30 pm. I'll now have to start over with my new house and of course from wherever the hell I am going to go in another 2 years as I’ll be graduating and moving homes again.

Sigh!

So finally we began moving to this new house. I’ll have to call it home soon. The major advantage with this new place was that it was a little away from the main road, thus sparing us of the traffic noise and honking cars and trucks and the college guys zipping up and down their bikes as I lived beside an engineering college and a girls hostel. Inside the house, it was like a serene little world. And just outside my balcony, there was a lot of greenery, trees, birds and horses as well that would keep me occupied through the day before I embarked upon making new acquaintances.

I began packing early morning. Looking around at the mountain of boxes all around I realised how much stuff I had accumulated in the 19 years. I stopped many times to look at my kindergarten drawings and 9th std biology record book. My shoe box with its treasure of letters written, received, school badges, tiny knick knacks. Moving is stressful business. My dad handled the packers, made sure they were doing their job well and made sure everything was loaded (and unloaded) properly into (from) the truck.

During lunch we literally pounced on the food as we were really hungry after the morning’s episode of packing and moving stuff. I had managed to miss breakfast, so I ate for two meals!
The packers left in the evening. Leaving me with a lot of stuff scattered all over the place. Boxes of books, CDs, odds and ends and general stuff I have no idea where to keep (which I am going to open later). The kitchen looks like a hurricane hit it with pots, pans, glasses, cutlery, cooking vessels all looking rather lost and out of place. Clothes are overflowing out of the cupboards and suitcases are still unopened (do I really have so much stuff?!).

Tintin, my dog spent a traumatic night in the verandah sending my mum and me very hurt looks from inside. He hates being displaced and it takes him a week or so to get adjusted to a new place. He went out sniffing a few times and looked suspiciously everywhere and then retreated into the warmth and safety of his kennel. He was so dazed. So were my parents and me. My li’l sister cried the entire journey from my old home to this new place. She cried her way to sleep.

I wandered around the place thinking that I should sort everything out. And then I took the easy way out and left everything as it was. Another day, I thought! What’s the hurry? I have my holidays now.

I listened to the mild buzz of the vehicles along the ring road and the sudden roar of an airplane (I live beside the airport) for a long time in the evening before finally falling asleep out of exhaustion, my limbs and back aching from the stress of the whole day. And it’s definitely going to take me some time to get used to the new house too.

And the noise. Definitely the noise... the sound of the planes!

I’ll have to call this my home now. Untangle and settle down... create new roots.